11.30.2008

Appear

This is an interesting question. A question I have never considered,
but an amazing question.
Apparently, I believe in Him.
Not because I am stupid or exhorbitantly superstitious
or idle or afraid or irrational or without logic.
I just believe because this all is so intricate
and so complex and so functional and so mysterious
That it had to be created by some force other than
science itself. Science is too interesting
and too absolute to have created itself.
For that reason, I accept the existence of God.
But the other day, in some strange consciousness,
I dreamt that God died.
I dreamt that God was a huge, gray man
that sat in some room that housed nothing but the chair He sat in
and the universe.
The room was bigger than the universe, clearly,
and made space for it to float in the middle of the room
right in front of God.
And when God died, God shrunk to this remarkable
size and fell right on Earth.
Despite him being bigger than the whole universe,
He shrunk enough to fall directly onto earth.
And we picked Him up and brought Him to everyone.
He shrunk to about the size of 1/4 of the earth's size.
He was a solid mass, a statue of some ethereal cement mixture.
We toted him around and discussed
Him in the news, magazines,
songs, blogs, newspapers, books,
essays, CNN, in the coffee shops.
We wondered what the world was going to be like
now that God had died.
Those who didn't believe in God suddenly scrambled
to explain Him and those who did believe...
...
...
...
wanted to die too.
Living our lives according to God's word,
leaving our stresses up to God,
praying to God for answers,
we had made ourselves completely inept
at living and burdened
God so much that He died!
But we didn't bury Him.
We just had Him sit on each continent for a certain
amount of time and then He had to move on
to the next continent.
People cried.
People laughed. People drank
and became intoxicated. People smoked
and got high. People did all the normal things
they needed to do to feel normal.
But none of it mattered because God was dead.
I did not finish the dream.
I started to cry in my dream and woke up
so I do not know how the world changed
in the long run.

11.14.2008

Coming Through the Speakers

"Chasing Pavement" by Adele
...should I give up? / or should I just keep chasing pavement? / Even if it leads no where...

I just want to tell you that I am doing what I know how to do. I am doing what comes easiest to us all, but especially to me. I am not giving up. I'm still chasing pavement but the difference is that I know the place.

I don't know where it is, but I do know how to get there. I am taking this shortcut not because I am indolent but because I am now insolent. Fighting hard for your life may give you fatigue, but it gives me a reason to live where I did not have one before.

So while I spare you the details, pay attention to all my particulars.