Goodnight Zainab...I do love you

it was an unusual moment of break
and it was not the break i was expecting.

in my mind, i heard it would be a mushroom cloud
i was told it would be a disaster.

in my hopes, i heard it would be an un-end.
i was told he would be my friend.

in reality, it was neither.
but in reality, it was both.

on one hand, i read him saying that i don't deserve his affections.
i read it as the stem of the mushroom cloud.
on the other hand, he did me a favor and stopped his deflections.
he said what i suspected out loud.

i didn't have to ask him.
i didn't have to beg.
i see now i was right
and my heart stands on its last leg.

i have abused myself
by ignoring my intuition
i have abused myself
by waiting for my work to come to fruition

i was the only one working in this relationship
i was the one in love without exception
but it doesn't matter now
because i don't deserve his affection.

thank you Mr. Bitchass for clearing that up for me.